Are You a Perfectionist for Self Esteem?

For some people, good enough is just not good enough. While for others, turning down a project is a lot better than finishing it off in a less than perfect way. Doing nothing, accomplishing nothing is a lot better than achieving something that is not at all one hundred percent exceptional. Be honest with yourself and see if you think the same way too.

For perfectionists, not doing anything is so much better than doing something yet failing.

Aiming to be perfect is the goal of perfectionists. For them, there is no room for mistakes. Trying is not good enough. Doing should be the only option, and doing it perfectly is the only decision one should make.

Perfectionists have constant stream of thoughts floating in their heads that are often self defeating. They dictate unnecessarily high goals for themselves. These goals sometimes are too high that they tend to border on the unrealistic.

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However, society sometimes favors and smiles upon the perfectionists amongst us. This practice comes from the less known fact that being perfect is a requirement for success. But there are some studies that have proven that being always obsessed to be perfect is actually detrimental to success.

Striving to be always perfect denies someone the unique satisfaction of doing something for the sheer fun of it. The fixation to always be perfect could also cause someone to think more of failing than simply enjoying the process of getting there. It pays to have more realistic expectations.

Most perfectionists at times got to where they are now because of early life experiences they may have had which caused them to think that their value lies only on what they have achieved or accomplished. For them, their self-worth is based on how much others have approved of them. Therefore, their self esteem is based on outside standards.

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Having this kind of attitude makes one easily vulnerable to the opinions of others. Perfectionists have also become sensitive to what others think of them. The desire to protect themselves from these "harsh" criticisms causes them to go on the defensive and strive to be perfect.

There is a list of attitudes, beliefs and overall negative perceptions that further fuel obsessive compulsive ruminations about being perfect. Check and see if you or any one of those you know possess any of the following.

Failing is something to be afraid of

Failing is a big thing for perfectionists. Failure signifies a lot of things to them. While non perfectionists may see failure as an opportunity to better themselves, the way Thomas Edison thought that his more than a hundred "mistakes" prior to inventing a working light bulb were not actual "mistakes" but only a hundred ways that led him to finally creating that perfect invention.

Perfectionists see it differently though. Failure is just what it is, their inability to make something better of themselves. Failing makes them feel worthless, expendable and totally worth nothing.

Mistakes - Oh the horror!

Mistakes are a no-no for perfectionists that sometimes their whole twenty four hour lives actually revolve around avoiding them. If we only live in a perfect world, doing this would be fairly easy. But since we do not, mistakes are actually a part of everyone's lives that sometimes, as in Thomas Edison's case, committing them may actually be an amazing opportunity for growth and learning.

Believe it or not, the vaccine for chicken pox as well as the discovery of radiation were both discovered by mistake!

Please love me don't hate me

Perfectionists try, as much as it is possible, to not let anyone see the flaws that they have. This is because they are afraid that once anyone has seen them in their unguarded state, people will reject them outright. In order for them to not feel such or at least for them to avoid experiencing any form of criticism or disapproval, they try their best to be their perfect selves.

There are only two choices: All or nothing at all

Perfectionists have a firm belief in themselves that they are totally worthless if they do not have any accomplishments. A student who is only used to receiving all A's in his card may begin to perceive that the world is coming to an end if he receives a B+.

All in all, the cliché that says: don't sweat the small stuff, actually works in the perfectionist's case. Taking it easy and being easy on yourself is actually less complex, less stressful than worrying about all the details to achieve perfection.

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