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Self Esteem Basics |
Build Confidence (Home) > Self Esteem Basics > Can I Change My Self-Esteem? Can I Change My Self-Esteem?Self-Esteem and the Rise to HappinessWhen the Oracle of Delphi gave man the advice to "know thyself," it was the best advice she could give. Man is an animal with the ability to think and be aware of its own predicament. With his mind, he has created works of art, solved problems, codified language, raised cities, etc. That is a great distinction. However, because man is aware of himself, he is also endowed with the flip side of having a mind. Sometimes has can be too aware of himself. He is easily swayed by outside circumstances beyond his control. He sees things that don't exist, torture himself and his fellows, lie, steal, and kill. It is therefore imperative that man must above all master himself in order to live a full life on this earth. The key to this good life is how he views himself or his self-esteem. Self-esteem is the way man views himself, simply put. It is a subjective assessment of himself as he interacts with others and the environment he lives in. This is one of the major factors that determine how well a person will do in this life. Unless training is done to rein in his emotions and have a different way of viewing things, self-esteem can be exceedingly fragile.
Most people derive high self-esteem from the things they do. This is especially apparent with people who work. High self-esteem can result from work which skills and challenge are equally matched. This result in the experience of what Dr. Csikszentmihalyi describes as flow. The more flow you have in life, the more fulfilling your life can become. Self-esteem can be derived from any activity even housework, chores, taking care of children or studying. The essential thing behind it is that man must know where he is going. Self-esteem can be improved in the following ways:Know your strengths:Take stock of yourself and know what you are really good at. It is important for you to develop the talents that you are naturally gifted at. Whether the skill is the ability to write well, have photographic memory, the ability to speak Latin backwards, you must find a venue for your talents to flourish.
How do you know what your strengths are?Think of things and situations you were in that were difficult for others but was easy for you. Did you always ace that English class without even studying? That could be an area of strength. Other people have great talents under the guise of mediocrity. Acknowledge areas for improvementWeaknesses must be recognized for the weaknesses they are and shouldn't be sugar-coated into something like being human. The worst thing people can do to weaknesses is to ignore them and keep them under wraps. The more a secret is hidden, the more the secret will be found out. This goes the same with weaknesses. Everyone has an area to improve, so don't compare yourself to others. Take stock of the weakness, and try to find ways to address it or take time to turn it into strength that drives you to better places. Don't take it personallyDetach. Take situations as they come. Never unnecessarily let others make you feel bad just to make themselves feel better. Refuse to do so. Avoid these people like the plague enough to even change jobs. Trust, it will be worth the change. Low self-esteem can be contagious. Cultivate a logical view of things. Passions come so easily to men that the imposition of logic and reason is an exercise in being truly human. The ancient philosophers have time and again exhorted man to master his passions and work on their ascension. Know what you can controlThere is only one thing in the world that you have absolute control over. It is the will alone. It is only your mind that you have complete mastery over. Even the body is not under your full control else you would be able to dictate the beats of your heart or the breath you take. The mind is the vehicle for all things possible. And the passions fuel this dream. Focus and let yourself enjoy the process. Set your goalsFragmentation of concentration holds you back more than you know. Knowing what you want and when you want it cuts through all the chaff. Aim high and let your mind find ways to get it. If you need to adjust, do so. The whole point is to make sure you get to where you chose to be in the future and not what others want you to be. LaughThe world is strange and absurd. Don't take things too seriously. Have fun with other with the understanding that they all are here to help you and are taking their own journeys to better themselves as well. Raising self-esteem is a personalized art form. Some techniques may work on others and some don't. Try to mix and match, experiment as far and wide as you can until you can get a good handle on yourself. And you'll find things will just get better for you.
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